Baby Drop

I have felt great for about a week, other than being Siiick! Things changed last night.

All day yesterday I felt funky, just not right.. I don't know what triggered it or brought it on or whatever, but I just felt off. I could barely walk without bending over in pain. Little baby limbs were poking out everywhere and causing me much pain.

Last night, when I went to bed {early like 9:30} I could not get comfortable. It didn't matter which side or position I laid in, I hurt. I felt nauseous. My lower back killed! Then it started. I had unbearable contractions that lasted for about 45 minutes. It seemed like there was no break in between either.. like one straight contraction, cramps, lower back pain. I was sweating and almost crying. I almost got up to go to the hospital, but then it abruptly stopped. I don't know how, but it did.. I wanted to punch something. That pain was just too much to be BH ctx.

My next Dr. appt is tomorrow at 11am. I thought about calling them today, but haven't decided whether or not it's worth it. I'm sure they'll say it's nothing and that i'll just have to deal with it.

Point is, I definitely think JClaire has dropped! My belly looks so much different this week and like I said there are baby parts poking out everywhere and it's so painful!! She is nowhere near my ribs. It's all low! I feel everything in my pelvis and on my sides. So weird and uncomfortable. It's funny though, I can actually see a glimpse of my "abs" again. :)

Took this pic today along with the rest of my 35Wk pics for Thursday..

I guess she doesn't look that much lower, but definitely bigger!

Oh and a side note, this is my 100th post! Yay!

Another Emergency Doctor Visit

So, like I posted a few days ago, I went to the doctor and had changes in my cervix. Well, today when I went to the restroom, I wiped and there was discharge and blood. I called the doctor and they said come in asap. So I did..

The doctor said from what I was explaining it sounded like I had lost my Mucous Plug {gross!} He gave me a Rx for Terbutaline and said to take it as needed, but not more than.. so much? I can't remember right now, but have it written down. Anyway, he didn't act terribly concerned {again}, but did say he didn't want to do a cervical check because he didn't want to stir it up more. I obviously have a lot going on that isn't supposed to be, so he said "moderate bed rest and pelvic rest" Which is absolutely impossible! I am a stay at home mom and do everything by myself for the girls. CRC is still in a crib so I must lift her in and out of it. The house has stairs, so i'm always walking and moving. There is noone who can come help me during the day. It's up to me. I just have to try and not do "too much."

I asked what I should do if I bleed more and he said if i'm having contractions/cramping to drink 3 large glasses of water, lay down and take one of those pills. That should help and if it doesn't to come back in. This is so stressful!!! I'm not sure why Miss JClaire is so ready to make her appearance :)

26.5 Week Dr Appointment

I was supposed to have my "26 WEEK" Dr's Appointment last Thursday 17th, but with all of the snow days we've had, they rescheduled me to yesterday, Monday the 21st. Which was fine with me. I knew it wouldn't be an eventful appointment, but I did want to check on my contractions.

My appointment was at 1:15pm, I arrived about 5 minutes early {stupid!} and I waited on the doctor for ONE hour!! The nurse came in and said that he was delivering a baby. Grr.. how can you be mad about that? I couldn't because I know if it's me in the delivery room, i'm going to want him there. However, I had to pick Cami up by 3:00pm and her school is about 15 minutes away. So I started to get antsy.. But, he arrived in time for me to be seen.

Everything looked great. Baby's heart beat was 150bpm. She's been hanging out right in the middle of where Cami and Carrah were. Cam was always about 165bpm and Carrah was around 145bpm. :) All similar though. He did tell me that the contractions were mosts likely from dehydration, which I suspected..darnit! I had a genious idea though {and someone else suggested it on here last night} to buy the Crystal Lite flavor packets. They work wonders!! I've almost doubled my water intake by adding them to a glass. I'm serious, I cannot drink plain water this pregnancy. It's shocking because I normally drink SO much water. Anyway, I'm glad to know it was nothing serious.

I've gained a whopping 23lbs!! I almost cried sitting there on the bed thing.. Dr told me "By looking at you, I do not see a 23lb weight gain. You look great! It's probably all fluid and water retention that you'll lose right after you have the baby." WAHH! lol, that did make me feel better though. I don't feel near as big as I did with either of my other girls, but I only gained 29lb total with Carrah. Maybe you just retain different amounts of fluid with each baby. Oh well.. i've dealt with it and moved on. {wink}

I start going back to the doctor every two weeks now. Next time I go I have to do the 1 hour Glucose test. Yucky! But I get an u/s too! So that keeps me positive about it. One week from Thursday, i'll be 28 weeks. 3rd Trimester! Yay! Can't believe it has gone by so quickly. But i'm thrilled. I'm ready to have another sweet baby to hold.

Trip to Labor & Delivery Today

Not a planned trip, I may add.

I woke up fine just like every other normal morning. But things changed around 9am. I got home from taking CDCto school and decided to cook pancakes for CRC I took hers upstairs to her and came back to finish cooking the batter. I knew I was hungry so I took a couple of bites of one I had finished. A few seconds later I started feeling nauseous, so I made a glass of Sprite. As soon as I took a drink of the Sprite, the room started to spin and I couldn't open my eyes. I laid over the sink so that I wouldn't fall to the floor. I couldn't speak or open my eyes for what seemed like forever. Finally I did get them open and saw tons of black squiggly lines and spots. Then I broke out in a sweat all down my chest and hands and started vomiting in the sink. {Gross, I know}

I just sat there for a few minutes because I still felt so nauseous. Then I coudlnt' regulate my body temp. I went from hot to cold for about 5 minutes. Then I got ahold of myself and called the nurse line. They said go to L&D asap. So my mom came and picked me up and took me to the hospital. Once I was there , they didn't do much at all. Took my blood to check Electrolytes and CBC, then did an EKG to check my heart. All of that was normal, but my Blood Pressure was only 106/54!! Yeesh. That's the lowest it has ever been, I believe. They told me other than that, everything looked fine. Oh and by everything, I don't mean the baby because they didn't even check him/her. Just got the heart rate, which was 155 and said "it was fine." No u/s, no exam of the cervix etc.. So they sent me home..

They told me to eat many small meals throughout the day and not to stand up too quickly. I ate as soon as I left and felt a little better. Not nearly as nauseous. So i'm guessing it was just low blood pressure and blood sugar. It really blew my mind they didn't check my blood sugar since I told them Diabetes runs in my family. Oh well.. apparently i'm doing well. Just hope it doesn't happen again because it really scared me!

Anatomy scan tomorrow! I'll try to muster up a picture in a little bit for my 21 week post..

Thankful and Blessed

So, yesterday I was in shock. I didn't know what to do with my emotions or feelings and I lashed out. I feel like my post was angry and bitter and I don't want to be that person.

Today, I woke up feeling blessed and thankful to be here another day. Instead of the woe is me attitude, I am choosing to be grateful for everything I have. My children are my greatest blessing. They are the ones that need me. They need me to be strong and healthy for them. As I sit here this morning, CRC wants to sit next to me and hear me read to her and sing her songs. I can't imagine not doing these things with her. Yesterday, I felt like giving up, throwing in the towel, and just going to bed forever. But today, I want to see the world, so to speak. I want to do all the things i've always wanted to. I want to do simple things and just enjoy my life, my girls, my family. Even just to go outside and sit on the grass and watch my kids play with our dog sounds nice. I don't want to be that stressed out, overwhelmed, bitter person that i've been for so long.

I realize I didn't get a death sentence, but it was still scary news. I still don't know the outcome and won't for a few weeks, i'm guessing. But, I feel like I need to live every day to the fullest. I want to live, not just be.

Terrified. Abnormal Pap

As most of you know, I've had the worst year of my life. I decided to leave my  marriage and go astray be "life it up" so to speak. I realize now how much of an idiot I was. I'm so happy to be home with my family and so thankful that we are all living happily. However, I got very scary results today.

I am having to go to a women's clinic because I have no medical insurance and medicaid won't accept me. They are terrible! It's the lowest of low class. I'm not trying to judge, but the nurses and doctors treat everyone crappy! I had a Pap Smear done a month ago and never heard back results. I kept bleeding bright red blood and would call almost weekly, but they just shrugged me off saying "you probably have a cervix that bleeds easily" But I wouldn't accept that. I knew in my heart something wasn't right. I decided to try and call one more time today.

The nurse finally answered and told me "You're results to your Pap were Atypical. We need you to come in for tests. You'll receive a packet in the mail." *click and hangs up on me*

I was in shock. I cried for 3 hours straight. My dad and mom both took off work to come sit with me and the girl's. They had to treat me like a Psych patient because I was so traumatized. I still am. I finally called again to try and see if they could explain the results more in depth.

I finally spoke to a nurse at the Hospital *which is not associated with the nasty clinic I am going to* and she explained in depth that I have High Risk HPV which can easily lead to Cervical Cancer and that I have to go in for tests. I also had an infection that required Antibiotics asap or it could lead to premature birth and delivery. The nurse at the Hospital called me in the Antibiotic I need and with a sympathetic voice told me "Just calm down and go in for your testing and hopefully everything will turn out okay. Cheer up sweetie."

Right. Cheer up? How could I possibly cheer up right now? I'm at the lowest point in my life. This is the worst news I could ever receive other than my children being hurt or sick. I'm absolutely terrified. I want a Hysterectomy as soon as this baby is born so I never have to worry about Cervical Cancer again.

And by the way, WTF?!? Why would these people at the clinic not care about a Human Being? They didn't even call me when my Pap came back. The woman explained nothing to me. Didn't call me in an antibiotic for an infection that could harm my baby. Didn't even tell me I had HPV!!!

I plan on switching Dr's tomorrow! I don't care how much I have to pay with no insurance coverage. My life is worth more to me than money. I feel sick. Sad. Lonely. Scared. Clueless..

Me+Pregnancy=ER!

I've been out for a week or so huh? I've got to get the internet back on at my apartment. Otherwise, i never have free time to come by the cafe and update.

Everything has been going relatively well. Other than Saturday. I woke up Sat morning bleeding and cramping. I don't mean spotting either.. I almost didn't go to the hospital because it was CRCs second birthday party (yes, she turned 2!! I'll write a post on that soon) But my mom finally talked me into going.

I showed up at 10:40am. Thankfully, the girls were with Chris for the weekend. They started by doing a pelvic exam and drawing blood. They drew it out of my hand to start off. I sat around and waited for about an hour, then they finally came back in just to tell me they needed more blood. What?! So, this time they drew it out of my arm{thank goodness!} After that hour was almost up, they ordered an u/s. Which I was super happy about, but I also needed to get to the birthday party! It was at 2pm and they ordered the u/s at 1:45. We had to call and tell everyone just to wait it out, i'd be there soon. So.. the u/s showed that the baby was doing well. He/She had a heartbeat of 167. They said it'll go down as time goes on, but CDC's hb was always that high. What it did show though, was a hemorrage behind the baby where it had pulled away from the uterus wall a little. I think they were worried about a miscarriage if it happened again, so they told me to "take it easy" Don't pick up the girls, don't be running around, up and down stairs, no caffeine, and to drink a pint of water a day. :( They finally let me leave at 3:00.

I'll do anything I can to keep this baby safe, but it's so difficult being a "single" mom, working on my feet for 8 hours, and living upstairs in an apartment. Blah! Everyone has been helping out though.  I have an appt to see the OB doctor on Nov 4th, so we'll see what he says and go from there.

This almost feels like dejavu when I was pregnant with CDC. I had Placenta Previa and bled on and off with her and was put on bedrest for about 2 months. Only this time, they can't call it Previa because it's so early and there's really nothing they can do if my body decides to miscarry.

Here's a pic of bump. I know it's dark.. all these pics are from my phone.

Just an update. I'll try to get back more often and with more pics!