My Own Elsa and Ana

Yes, we (we, meaning I) are still on a Frozen kick at my house. I am obsessed with that movie!! The music, the characters, and the overall moral of the story! 

My girls don't so much remind me of the characters, but in a way, I can relate them to each other. Obviously their hair color is drastically different like Ana and Elsa. But other than physically, my big girls have their arguments, their differences, their own unique personalities, but at the end of the day they love each other SO stinkin much, it amazes me. I don't understand that sister bond, but these two completely have it. They may want to rip each other's faces off during the day, but every morning when I go in to wake them, I find them curled up with each other snuggling. It melts my heart every time! I'm so thankful they are so close and I know it'll only grow with time.

 

They are equally close with JClaire bear, but since these two have the same dad etc.. they spend much more time together and also, they've obviously been together longer :)

Happenings

Whew...

I have been so insanely busy the past couple of weeks. I feel like the holiday stress returned for some odd reason. I think I've put most of the stress on myself though. Since January 1st, I've been pushing myself to work out hardcore and eat extremely "clean" and it's just taken up a lot of my time. But I do thoroughly enjoy it. It's my "ME time" and happy peaceful place.

Other than my me time, the girls obviously keep me busy! CDC is doing cheer now and she is in loooove with it! She's really good at it too! We've tried Softball and Basketball and Girl Scouts and none of that clicked with her, but this seems to be different and she really enjoys it. It's also a good motivator for doing good in school! She brought home a 100% + bonus question on her last spelling test! Woop!! 

Last night, we bought the movie Frozen! I think everyone in America bought it according to all of the pictures on Facebook and Instagram. It's such a great Disney movie. I'm really proud of Disney for that one!

My baby baby, JClaire went to bed at 5:45 last night and slept ALL NIGHT! She missed dinner and never made a peep. It kind of worried me and I went in to check on her about 10pm, but she was fine...just very tired. Her babysitter said she did not nap so that explains it. I just hate when that happens because she needs to eat and keep on her regular routine schedule. Oh well, she was chipper this morning and scarfed down a whole pop tart {that's what she wanted! Don't judge me...mornings are rough!}

 

CRC is all registered for KINDERGARTEN! I can't believe she's big enough to be starting K! It's a weird feeling and emotional at the same time. I feel like that crazy girl was just born and now she's almost six years old and starting big girl school!! *sniffle*

Let's see what else I can ramble about... I had a girls night on Sunday with some of my high school classmates to plan our ten year high school reunion! Craziness!!! Time FLIES by in a flash. We had such a great time catching up and planning things. We're shooting for about six months out and I hope it turns out epic!

I guess that's all of the happenings that have been going on. Now, I must venture to the break room to seek more COFFEE because it's still early. *yawn*

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Monday was the great Dr. Seuss' birthday! What a cool dude he was. I'm obsessed with his creative books, cooky rhymes, and unique characters.

 

CDC's school was celebrating Dr. Seuss' birthday by letting the kids dress up as a character from one of his books. They were supposed to dress up on Monday, but guess what? We were out of school Monday and Tuesday due to a horrific ICE storm. Yes ICE, remember we never get snow... So, all of us parents agreed we would send our kids to school dressed up on Wednesday. We spent money on their outfits and the kids were excited about their costumes all weekend, so we figured it couldn't hurt to send them dressed up on Wed. :)

 

My girl chose Cindy Lou Who, whom I absolutely adore! She's precious and CDC made the PERFECT little Who!

 

I used a red curtain that I found on sale at Target for her cape. They were two for $4.98 on the sale rack! Heck yeah. I don't know that I will use the curtains in my home, but hey, I have the option if I ever decide to. And for her hair, I sectioned off the top part from the bottom, then sectioned that into 3 smaller sections and teased it to the moon, then I put a small sippy cup(the bottom part) in between the sections of hair. Then, pulled the hair up and around the cup and secured with a pony tail holder. I wanted to curl the remaining pieces at the top, but I ran out of time, so I looped them around and secured into place with bobby pins. And for the bottom, I parted and braided each side with a pipe cleaner tied in to help the braids stand up. Then pinned them to her head.

 

CDC was so giddy and LOVED her hair! I think she and all of her friends had a great day. :)

 

Go-To Snack and Progress

Dark Chocolate Almond Milk and Plain Greek Yogurt with fresh strawberries, dark Chocolate chips and a drizzle of honey! 

Ohmigosh, the almond milk is divine! I am absolutely obsessed with this stuff! Literally, I drink it at breakfast, after diner and for a snack. Sigh... It's ridiculously addictive. And the yogurt isn't bad itself, but I'm not as partial to it. I could live without it, buuut I'm not gonna because it makes for a perfect treat. 

I've been eating really clean and healthy and kicking my own a$$ working out and  finally feeling some progress. I haven't weighed myself (because I just can't go there), but I can tell my clothes are fitting better and my overall muscle tone is changing. I love seeing results! :)

Let It Go

I have yet to see Frozen in the theaters, but my girls have seen it and of course, love it!

It's kind of a big deal right now. We haven't seen Disney Princess success in the theaters like this since the classics, such as Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. And that was when I was just a child!  I'm all for it. I love Disney movies and everything Princess. I think they give children and especially little girls such confidence and the ability to dream as big as the sky! My CRC is epitome of a Disney Princess fanatic and lover. She thinks she IS a "True Princess" and loves all things girly, magical, glittery, sparkly, etc... She makes my inner child and my imagination come to life just watching her.

This post though is not meant to be all about the movie Frozen, but rather about the title track "Let it Go." I am a grown adult and this song hits home for me. To children, it's an awesome, catchy, stuck-in-your-head kind of tune, but to me, the words mean much more.
　

...

Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.
Don't let them in, don't let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.

Let it go, let it go!
Can't hold it back any more.
Let it go, let it go!
Turn away and slam the door.
I don't care what they're going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway

...
My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back; the past is in the past!

Let it go, let it go.
And I'll rise like the break of dawn.
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand, in the light of day.

　

That's not the entire song, but it's those few verses and, of course, the chorus that spoke to me. I may be interpreting it incorrectly, but I think that is the beauty of music, everyone can interpret something completely different and unique to themselves and it can still be correct.

To me, this song... these verses, the chorus, speaks to me in that, I find myself trying to be so perfect on the outside. I try so hard to be the image that I think people expect of me. I want to look picture perfect at all times, I want my house to be squeaky, spotless clean, I want my children to be Beaver Cleaver beautiful children with the best manners. I want to do every Pinterest project and recipe that I Pin to ensure that I am the number 1, best, most awesome mom, {wife}, and overall woman. Ultimately, those feelings lead to failure. I can never be perfect at every thing, but by darn, I try...and in turn, I end up trying too hard. It's never going to happen. So this song, to me, lets me know that it is OK to "Let it Go." It's OK to just be me and love being just me.
I have more fun on the days that I know nobody is watching and nobody is comparing notes. I love the days when I can just sit in the floor with my kids and make a huge mess in our pajamas and messy hair and no one will ever see or judge us. My house may not be clean, my hair may look like a train wreck, and my kids may have sticky, ice cream faces, but in those moments, I smile because I was able to "Let it Go" and just be.

 

Full song lyrics shown below. Love it!


The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I’m the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I've tried

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on, the cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I stay
Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past

Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway
　

　

　

Motherhood

 

 

I saw this on Pinterest and fell in love with it.

 

I may come back later to elaborate on it... then again, I may not because it speaks volumes in itself.

It's What's for Lunch

Another day, another Quinoa dish

Today, I added cooked black beans with sautéed Serrano peppers, Half of an Avocado, and some Feta Cheese to my Quinoa. 

It was a very hearty lunch, filled with protein! It has kept me full the entire afternoon which typically doesn't happen. I usually require an afternoon snack, but haven't thus far today. 

I'm instead enjoying a cup of coffee while I finish up with my work day. 

Blondes Have More Fun

Just want to take a moment to shout "I'M BLONDE AGAIN!!" Hooray!!!

 

 

This was seven weeks ago when I decided to go a LOT darker. It was pretty and looked very natural, but I'm so glad to be back to myself! :)

The Baby

 

Oh how I love this child.

 

Nearly four years agoI never would have imagined my life with a third child. But, God had other plans for me. She was destined to be my baby. I'm absolutely positive of that fact.

This little girl has brought so much happiness to my world. She is the epitome of the "baby" sister. Her big sisters adore her and they loved her from the instant they saw her, as did I. She brings out the best in everyone! Of course she is full of sass and can give you some pretty diva-esque looks, but for the most part she is calm, lovable, and eager to learn and just be happy and make sure everyone around her is happy. If she happens to walk out of the room after sitting with you, she will look at you with eyes wide open, full of concern and say

"I'll be right back, ok? No be sad." then flash a huge smile that you can tell is so sincere and full of love!

 

 

My life couldn't have been in a more unstable place when I found out I was pregnant with her, but the distance I have come amazes even me. I'm more settled, grounded, and happy than I ever thought I could be.

 

God has perfect timing and sent me the most perfect Angel!

...not to mention, I finally have a mini-me! ;)

Real Talk - Body Image Struggles

From the time I was only five years old, I remember being insecure about my weight. I was always "the fat kid" and by "fat kid" I mean, extremely obese child.

You see, my parents got divorced when I was only four years old and no I'm not asking for a pity party because I too got divorced when my kids were young, but the difference is that I chose to live with my dad because my mom just wasn't in the right place in her life to raise me. So, at four years old, my dad who really didn't have a domestic bone in his body had to learn how to care for a prechooler. I will say he tried, but I was doing my own hair and picking out my own clothes when by the second week because he just couldn't.

Nutrition was not an important topic in my house. I think the staples of all of our meals were Mac N Cheese and Fried Okra. Literally, I probably ate it 3x/week. IF we were not eating those things, we were at my grandparents eating "Fried Taters" and Fried Catfish with homemade cornbread smothered in butter OR at Waffle House eating Patty Melts with Scattered, Smothered, and Chunked HashBrowns. Oh and let us not forget the daily trips to Taco Bell for a Nachos Bell Grande and the late afternoon visits to The Tasty Freeze for Ice Cream Sundaes.

Yes, I'm totally serious. I'm surprised I did not have a heart attack by the time I was ten years old. Now that I look back, I cringe thinking about all of the horribly disgusting things I ate. I didn't know any better and apparently neither did my dad. It wasn't important to him, therefore it wasn't to me.

I grew up in a fairly large school. I played softball and excelled at it. It was my thing and it got me in the "cool crowd," but I was still slightly outside the cool crowd circle. Some of them whispered about me and made jokes about my weight. They'd do mean things in class just to embarrass me. I remember the feeling of my face burning crimson red from the embarrassment. It was terrible. I couldn't take it anymore and my dad agreed to move us to a smaller school when i was 14.

That summer, I made a decision to no longer be the "fat kid." I learned of the Tae Bo DVD and started doing it over summer break and I also paid more attention to the foods I was putting into my body. It worked. By my 10th grade year of school, I had lost a ton of weight and I looked great! People didn't know who I was. I was so proud of myself. But with my new self came stress that I didn't used to have. I became aware of every single thing I ate. Overly aware, to the point of an eating disorder, in fact. I became so consumed with what I looked like and how I fit into my clothes and whether I was "skinny" or not, I had lost sight of myself and went from a healthy diet and lifestyle to a deadly one.

I went on for over a year before anyone knew my secret, until one day I got dizzy and my heart started hurting and I got scared. I had to tell someone. My mom found out through that person and she was furious with me. She told my dad and he was even more furious with me. He didn't know how to communicate with me any more and we basically had a falling out. I understood though. Even though, my mom was highly aware of my sickness and watched me all the time, I found ways to continue.

I remained very unhealthy until I was 19 years old and found out I was pregnant with CDC. I knew at that time, I had to be healthy for another life and I immediately stopped. I gained 42lbs when I was pregnant with her and I was miserable. I knew that I had done the right thing for my baby, but at the same time I completely let myself go. If I would have stopped with the eating disorder, but still maintained a healthy diet and exercise, it would have been a different story, but I didn't.

Fast forward past all of my child bearing years to today. I am 27 years old. It has been 12 years since I first started dealing with an eating disorder and sadly, I am still struggling today. No one knew. No one knows. I still battle myself every single day. Throughout my pregnancies and for short whiles after, I was fine and my brain was healthy, but slowly but surely after each baby and especailly now since not being pregnant for four years, I struggle. It's like a constant fear of being that "fat kid" again. Even though, I KNOW I need to be healthy and do things the healthy way, it's like my brain won't connect to that rationalization. So many times, I think I have it under control, but then I lapse again. It's so frustrating and I can't tell anyone because they don't get it and they blame me and become angry with me and I don't want to put anyone else through that. It's not their fault. It's my fault for not dealing with whatever emotion and/or memories I have from my childhood. I know I am not that child anymore. I've grown up. I've accomplished a lot and I have kids who need me to be healthy and they need a good self image to look up to.

I will say that eating "Clean" and working out 4x/week has drastically improved the way I think about food and my body. I've never felt healthier in my life. I do not feel guilty and bloated after eating a meal. I'm proud of my meal preps that I do on Sunday evenings and I want to prove that I can be in control and I can be healthy and happy regardless of my weight/size. I want to prove it to myself more than anything! And, I will. That's my giant goal this year. Be healthy and happy, no matter my weight or size.

Zoo Days

 

Over the past few months, our winter weather has kept us from doing the things we love, most of which are outdoors. It is NO fun being cooped up inside the house with three energetic little girls. We've done all of the baking and crafts we can stand for a while. This past weekend, though, we caught a small break and had 65-70 degree days! 

CDC's activities occupied most of our Saturday and I was fine with that. We had a great day and even the littles got to play outside for a long stretch of time. I was satisfied with out weekend on Saturday night. I didn't need to do anything else to feel satisfied.

JClaire was the most excited, I think. She has grown a lot in just a year. She's almost three now, so she really understands a lot more. We also did not take the stroller this time, so she got to run free like a big girl. I can't imagine how big of a deal that must be to a baby girl :) 

 

We took our time and visited ALL of the exhibits. The penguins are still a favorite among my girls. They are the newest animal exhibit to our zoo and they are precious! You can actually see them swimming under water. We also saw the new Elephants, one of which who was from a circus and had a star branded on his bottom. That made me sad, but at least I know he's being better cared for at our zoo now. Another favorite is the Tiger because he/she? just paces back and forth in his cage looking at everyone. He looks like he is about to pounce at any minute. This time, he kept moaning and making crazy growl noises. We weren't sure if he was hungry or just "talking" to be talking.. Haha!

I still love the monkeys best! They're so entertaining to me. But this time, their exhibit was being worked on so it was hard to see them. The big giant Ape is always fun to watch though. He stands on a Yoga Ball and watches out the window. Every single time I go, he is in that exact same spot!

 

 

There is even a play area that my girls took advantage of. I don't understand how they aren't entertained enough with just being at the Zoo, but nope, they insisted they needed to play too!

 

 

 

 

CDC and I ventured off by ourself while the littles were still emjoying the slides and we went through the Petting Zoo and took our pictures in the cut outs. :)

 

 

Overall, we had an awesome day! I think we were there for about 3 hours and we all had such a great time. My girls each got a snowcone and devoured them. They never fought or argued. They were perfect the entire day!

So blessed.

 

CRC shows her excitement in this picture. *Love*

 

Basketball Superstar...or Not

My girl played beginner basketball this year and her team ended up winning second place! Woo hoo! They did not have enough girls sign up, so she had to play on a boy/girl team. That was very unfortunate because the boys were all a lot more athletic and agressive than the girls, so she and the other girls took turns each quarter sitting the bench.

But, she was more interested in gossiping and watching than playing anyway, so it ended up working in her favor. Haha.

Later that day, we got to play outside in the SUNSHINE! Our weather decided to grace us with a warm, sunny day for a change.

CRC always has to have her stuffed friends with her. :) She's so imaginative.

And little miss diva always needs her "unglasses" haha! Such a sassy pants!

Then, on Thursday CDC's team got together again for a trophy ceremony. It was pure chaos with kids from 1st -6th grade getting trophies, but she had fun and their trophies were really cool!

It's What's for Lunch

Quick foodie post

 

Quinoa with Cucumber, Edamame, Tomatoes and Ceasar Viniagrette

...and store bought Mediterranean Hummus with broccoli !

 

This wasn't my lunch today, but it was last week :) I forgot to post the picture and since I was sick, I've been eating like crap! All kinds of junk food.. BLAH! But I got back to working out hardcore last night and my eating today hasn't been too terribly bad. I hope that I can get fully back on track tomorrow.

Here's to hoping!!

Multitude of Valentine's

 

Okay, I lied in a previous post about Valentine's Day. I said I didn't like it. It wasn't a big deal in our house. Etc.. I must have been having a Debbie Downer Day because that is not the case. I LOVE Valentine's Day! Especially for the girls sake. I was looking back at past Valentine's and I always go all out for them. It's so fun to look back and compare not only their gifts, but also themselves growing! This year, they all received a stuffed animal, a heart shaped box of chocolates, a VDay heart necklace, an oversized pencil, and a heart tube of M&M's {Skittles for CRC, who prefers them to M&M's}

My tiny baby girl was the only one home this morning because the big girls spent the night with their dad. But she LOVED her Valentine's. She was all smiles and snuggled her Puppy Dog the entire car ride to the babysitter. She could have been overly happy because I let her eat her M&M's for breakfast. Hey, VDay only comes once a year! *wink*

{Look at that pony tail!! Her hair is getting so long! *sniffle*}

{and then there is this face... haha! Silly head}

This beauty is my Valentine's Box for WORK! Yes, i am a grown woman with a big girl corporate job working at our Headquarters, but guess what... We are having a VDay Box contest and a Chili Cook off! Woo Woo! I'm all about some competition. When I heard it was a contest, I was in it to win it! Now, my box isn't that snazzy pizazzy, but it did take some time and craft skills and I'm pretty proud of it. It's precious!

 

My sweet sweet daddy who is under the weather at the moment with Shingles :( left me a Valentine in my mailbox! I came home from work on Thursday to see this. Love him! He always does special things for me for Vday.

Both of my big girls had their Valentine's party at school yesterday {Thursday} the 13th. This is one of the only things I do not like about working. I hate missing my kids' parties. I always loved when my parents came to mine as a child and I hate being that parent that works non stop and can never make it. But, I'm thankful that my ex mother in law can go and take pictures for me. I truly appreciate it. My girls had a blast and they got tons of Valentine's and goodies.

 

And here is me sporting my red on this awesome Valentine's day 2014! I'm ready for my date night with my boo. He did not tell me where we are going, just gave me instructions on what to and what not to wear...

Hope you have/had a GREAT day!

 

XO