So, yesterday I was in shock. I didn't know what to do with my emotions or feelings and I lashed out. I feel like my post was angry and bitter and I don't want to be that person.
Today, I woke up feeling blessed and thankful to be here another day. Instead of the woe is me attitude, I am choosing to be grateful for everything I have. My children are my greatest blessing. They are the ones that need me. They need me to be strong and healthy for them. As I sit here this morning, CRC wants to sit next to me and hear me read to her and sing her songs. I can't imagine not doing these things with her. Yesterday, I felt like giving up, throwing in the towel, and just going to bed forever. But today, I want to see the world, so to speak. I want to do all the things i've always wanted to. I want to do simple things and just enjoy my life, my girls, my family. Even just to go outside and sit on the grass and watch my kids play with our dog sounds nice. I don't want to be that stressed out, overwhelmed, bitter person that i've been for so long.
I realize I didn't get a death sentence, but it was still scary news. I still don't know the outcome and won't for a few weeks, i'm guessing. But, I feel like I need to live every day to the fullest. I want to live, not just be.