As most of you know, I've had the worst year of my life. I decided to leave my marriage and go astray be "life it up" so to speak. I realize now how much of an idiot I was. I'm so happy to be home with my family and so thankful that we are all living happily. However, I got very scary results today.
I am having to go to a women's clinic because I have no medical insurance and medicaid won't accept me. They are terrible! It's the lowest of low class. I'm not trying to judge, but the nurses and doctors treat everyone crappy! I had a Pap Smear done a month ago and never heard back results. I kept bleeding bright red blood and would call almost weekly, but they just shrugged me off saying "you probably have a cervix that bleeds easily" But I wouldn't accept that. I knew in my heart something wasn't right. I decided to try and call one more time today.
The nurse finally answered and told me "You're results to your Pap were Atypical. We need you to come in for tests. You'll receive a packet in the mail." *click and hangs up on me*
I was in shock. I cried for 3 hours straight. My dad and mom both took off work to come sit with me and the girl's. They had to treat me like a Psych patient because I was so traumatized. I still am. I finally called again to try and see if they could explain the results more in depth.
I finally spoke to a nurse at the Hospital *which is not associated with the nasty clinic I am going to* and she explained in depth that I have High Risk HPV which can easily lead to Cervical Cancer and that I have to go in for tests. I also had an infection that required Antibiotics asap or it could lead to premature birth and delivery. The nurse at the Hospital called me in the Antibiotic I need and with a sympathetic voice told me "Just calm down and go in for your testing and hopefully everything will turn out okay. Cheer up sweetie."
Right. Cheer up? How could I possibly cheer up right now? I'm at the lowest point in my life. This is the worst news I could ever receive other than my children being hurt or sick. I'm absolutely terrified. I want a Hysterectomy as soon as this baby is born so I never have to worry about Cervical Cancer again.
And by the way, WTF?!? Why would these people at the clinic not care about a Human Being? They didn't even call me when my Pap came back. The woman explained nothing to me. Didn't call me in an antibiotic for an infection that could harm my baby. Didn't even tell me I had HPV!!!
I plan on switching Dr's tomorrow! I don't care how much I have to pay with no insurance coverage. My life is worth more to me than money. I feel sick. Sad. Lonely. Scared. Clueless..