Monday, February 7, 2011

Trouble

It's been a quick minute since I last posted, but it's just been super busy around here. Not much exciting stuff has happened either. No news is good news, right? Well, almost right.

CDC has been having trouble in school. She is a handful at home and we sometimes have difficulties making her behave. I know this could go into a whole debate, so i'm not going to get into all the little details.

She has always been very high strung, hyper, and hard to settle down. I've thought at times, that she could possibly have ADD, but her doctor won't hear of it. I know that CDC is not the same as other kids her age. She cannot sit still, rarely makes eye contact if she is in trouble, can't focus on one single task for more than a few seconds, and cries about every little thing! She cries more in a day than an infant. I'm mentally exhausted at this point. I don't know what else to do. I feel defeated.. I can't blame her, of course, so I blame us as parents. We must have done something wrong somewhere down the line. It just feels like, now, it's too late to change things, but we're trying!

Every day, almost, she comes home with bad notes from her teacher. She is always "Playing and talking a lot" and "Not listening" and "Not standing quietly in line," etc.. I have talked to CDC about it and she just doesn't get it. It's like she doesn't even comprehend. I've tried to tell her, if she has a week of "Smiley faces" on her weekly report, she could start dance classes. She was extremely excited about that, but still had bad notes. :( I'm just at a loss.. Her doctor is no help at all. We've been talking about this for a year or more.. She suggested counselling, which I may decide to do. Seems like she's too young for counselling, but perhaps she isn't.

I just had to get all of this out and blogged because i'm sure i'll want to look back on it someday, plus it just helps to say/write it.

10 comments:

  1. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My 4.5 year old has been a handful lately. She will be starting kindergarden in the fall and I am trying to get things under control before she goes. She is constantly picking on her brother, talking back and being sassy. At the same time she is a very loving child. It is enough to drive someone crazy. She too is very emotional and whines often. All I can think of is she is still struggling with not having ALL of the attention ALL of the time and with number 3 on the way, I am scared that it is going to get worse. Keep you head up and know that you are not alone.

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  2. My three and a half year old has many days like this. We celebrate when we have a day of her not screaming "NO" at the top of her lungs and having a fit. Her (bad) behavior comes and goes but it can be so frustrating. It's hard but being consistent is the only thing that helps getting her back in line. Good luck.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My daughter is the same age as Cami and she is a cry baby. She cries about everything all the time. She is extremely sensitive and I can admit that it is very annoying. I *think* she might be starting to cry about things less, at least I hope she is! Maybe if your doctor isn't listening then you should change doctors. Keep us updates, good luck!!

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  4. Maybe get another doctor's opinion? If anything (of it isn't ADD), maybe they will have some advice?

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  5. Girl... this sounds a lot like my step-son. He is 6 and in his second year of Kindergarten, because he was not diagnosed early enough in his first year. He has ADHD and he stayed in trouble all the time last year. It was constant, always talking, not staying in his seat... you name it. Even now we have problems when he dosage of medication isn't strong enough. We have tried pills, and now the patch, which seemed to work until after Christmas. My step-son just doesn't realize what he's doing, or forgets that he got in trouble for doing something. You are not alone in this, don't stress about it! We went through the counseling service at the school, but he still had to have a Doctor's Recommendation. No one knows your child like you do, if you feel she needs help on concentration, then you deserve to get that help!

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  6. oh man kaycee, i'm sorry. 1. i would def change her doc! that does sound like ADD to me. my older brother has that and suffered through school forever as well.
    2. i am not trying to belittle your parenting skills by any means, and hell, maybe you already do this, but i've found that LITERALLY getting down on my daughters level (squatting to look her straight in the eyes) when i talk to her makes like... a 200% difference in her understanding me when i talk to her. she is a very sensitive girl as well.

    hang in there. you are a good mommy, we can all see that. and remember - things change constantly. this prob may be more of a "phase" than you think. if not, well, things will be okay. just hang in there, y'all will figure out what works. patience is key!

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  7. Also! Things that I have tried that work: When Aidan gets in trouble for something, I say it over and over until he DOES look me in the eye. It may take several times of me saying it for him to look at me, but when he does he understands most of the time. I even have him repeat back to me what I just said, so that I know he comprehends it. We have also tried a "smiley face" chart to keep him on task at home.. such as mornings would be "brush teeth, wash face, get dressed.. so forth" and when he completes each task he gets a smiley face. I still struggle daily with his behavior, but it has gotten 10x better! I don't know if these things would work for you, but I was at the point of desperation when I started them!

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  8. oh yes, and remember - lots of praise! when she DOES do something right, let her know! i'm always telling my daughter, "you DID IT!!" (dora!! lol). i think that goes a long way with them. PLUS you can use that... "remember when you did that!? it would make me so happy to see you do it again!"

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  9. Girl....I feel your pain! I know we've had discussions like this before and I've always said that how you explain Cami is exactly how Carlie is/was. Most doctors won't do ANYTHING about adhd until they're at least 5 or 6. We didn't even go through our PCP to get Carlie tested. We just went straight to the place where they test and did it there but you would have to check with her insurance company to see if she would need a referral. If you need any info just call me. It's been such a long journey to get everything figured out but it's worth it in the end.

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  10. Kaycee - You should definately ask Cami's teacher for a referral for a school evaluation. I'm not sure how the school districts there are structured, but here we have specialist that come in to the classroom to observe the children and teachers and see what is working, what might work better, track what is causing the child difficulty, etc. There are different checklists that both the teacher and parents can do to get an overall picture of if there are some issues with attention etc.... (the Achenbach test is one that I have used in my classroom). I would definately request a parent teacher conference and work together with the teacher to make school easier for Cami. Good luck!

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